Burnout.
The saddest word in the dictionary.
And the biggest lie in the artistic community.
Allow me to explain.
“Are you taking contemporary as an elective this year?” asked my friend.
“I can’t,” I told her. “I’m already signed up for modern and jazz.”
She laughed. “What’s one more hour? You already live at the studio.”
She was right. I was nearing the end of my high school career, and I was still eating dinner at the ballet barre, doing breathing exercises in between petite allegro combinations and sleeping in compression socks to mask the tendinitis in my Achilles. If anyone asked, I was thriving. Until this moment.
“I don’t want to get burned out, you know? I don’t want to start hating dance because I overdid it one year.”
“I could never hate dance,” she said decisively. “I’d die without it.”
Yeah. I’d definitely crossed over into burnout zone already.
Burnout is defined as “physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.”
In other words: Your mind and body have had it up to here with your so-called “passion.”
You’ve run out of ideas. And even if you had ideas, your energy levels are too low to execute anything other than a quick Instagram post to let your friends know you’re still alive.
After pouring yourself into your art for years or even decades, you’ve reached the end of yourself. You’ve maxed out your creative capacity. And now, you’d like to sleep for a million years, and no, coffee cannot save you this time, but thanks to that concerned friend for asking.
Lies.
Maya Angelou once said, “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”
In other words: Burnout doesn’t exist.
So… what is this godawful feeling?
Obsession is defined as “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.”
Cue J. K. Rowling answering questions that no one is asking.
Exhaustion is defined as “a state of extreme physical or mental fatigue.”
Cue every high school junior in the city of Colorado Springs. If you see them, give them hugs.
These things do exist.
And they’re the ruthless killers of creativity.
Of course, obsession and exhaustion are not the only culprits of this feeling we call “burnout,” but they’re at the root of many others. Obsession creates a pathway to self-doubt and, ultimately, fear and resistance. Exhaustion leads to lower levels of motivation and poor self-discipline, which, in turn, lead to unproductivity and the full-on collapse (burnout) that we baby by claiming that it’s a normal part of being an artist.
Did other people think you were crazy when you decided to go after your passion? Maybe. But did you think you were crazy? Do you think you’re crazy now?
Repeat after me, friends.
Real – artists – don’t – burn – out.
Real artists get scared.
Real artists get tired.
Real artists hit rock bottom and grapple with the meaning of the universe and wonder where on Earth they belong.
Sometimes they cry.
But the good news?
Real artists also fight.
Real artists deliver.
Real artists walk through the fire and the flood and pour their blood, sweat and tears into their work because they believe someone needs it even more than they do.
They believe in you.
“I’m burned out of dance,” I told my mom, swiping at hot tears. “I’m broken, and I’m tired, and I can’t keep doing this to myself.”
She wrapped her arms around me and waited. After a while, she said, “You need rest–a break from the pressure. I know you think you hate it, but deep down, I think you still love dance. Just give yourself some time. Don’t count yourself out yet.”
She was right.
That, or I loaded up on stage makeup this morning for nothing.
Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash
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