As many of you know, one of my goals for 2020 is to read more classics, a goal which I’m proud to say has brought me immense joy thus far. From my reread of Little Women to my first pass of To Kill a Mockingbird, it’s been six months of wondrous words and the unforgettable stories they weave.
While many of my chosen classics have been quick reads, I’ve now been buried in Dostoevsky for two months. The Brothers Karamazov has been my greatest literary investment of 2020 (and possibly my life). I haven’t talked much about it because I wasn’t sure I was going to survive it, but with less than 50 pages to go, it appears as though I will live to write another blog post.
But, you know, just in case.
This book is monstrous—in its length, its weight, its depth. It’s absurd in its beauty and grounded in its beliefs, and it carries its 12 books with nearly impossible fluidity and grace. I’ve fallen in love with its villains and pored over their existential crises. There isn’t another book on the planet that has made me feel so many different things at once. Turns out, there is a reason we call them “classics.”
I’ve spent a solid portion of May and June wondering if this is truly the greatest book ever written. Today, however, it doesn’t seem to matter. Rather than casting judgment on this brick of a book, I thought I’d share some of my highlights with you. I think it will help me internalize some of these teachings, and maybe, in the process, it will make you smile. Even if classics aren’t your thing, I bet there’s something here for you.
Phew. Here we go.
“As a general rule, people, even the wicked, are much more naive and simple-hearted than we suppose. And we ourselves are, too.”
“You’ve got all your wits about you. You will burn and you will burn out; you will be healed and come back again. And I will wait for you. I feel that you’re the only creature in the world who has not condemned me. My dear boy, I feel it, you know. I can’t help feeling it.” And he even began blubbering. He was sentimental. He was wicked and sentimental.
“‘And, above all, do not be so ashamed of yourself, for that is at the root of it all.'”
“Indeed, I always feel when I meet people that I am lower than all, and that they all take me for a buffoon. So I say, ‘Let me really play the buffoon. I am not afraid of your opinion, for you are every one of you worse than I am.’ That is why I am a buffoon. It is from shame, great elder, from shame; it’s simply over-sensitiveness that makes me rowdy. If I had only been sure that every one would accept me as the kindest and wisest of men, oh, Lord, what a good man I should have been then!”
“‘Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.'”
“‘Man cannot commit a sin so great as to exhaust the infinite love of God.'”
“‘All things are atoned for, all things are saved by love.'”
“For men are made for happiness, and any one who is completely happy has a right to say to himself, ‘I am doing God’s will on earth.'”
“‘Never be frightened at your own faint-heartedness in attaining love.'”
“‘Heaven,’ he went on, ‘lies hidden within all of us—here it lies hidden in me now, and if I will it, it will be revealed to me tomorrow and for all time.'”
“And if two of you are gathered together—then there is a whole world, a world of living love.”
“‘I sometimes fancy all sorts of things, that every one is laughing at me, the whole world, and then I feel ready to overturn the whole order of things.'”
“‘Oh, how I love you and admire you at this moment just because you are rather ashamed! Because you are just like me,’ cried Kolya, in positive ecstasy. His cheeks glowed, his eyes beamed.”
“‘Why should we assume everything as we imagine it, as we make up our minds to imagine it? A thousand things may happen in reality which elude the subtlest imagination.'”
“But do you want to punish him fearfully, terribly, with the most awful punishment that could be imagined, and at the same time to save him and regenerate his soul? If so, overwhelm him with your mercy! You will see, you will hear how he will tremble and be horror-struck. ‘How can I endure this mercy? How can I endure so much love? Am I worthy of it?’ That’s what he will exclaim.”
So, to conclude, I’d like to revisit this whole Classics 101 thing in the near future. These books are powerful, and I love them even when I can’t wait for them to end. If that’s not magic, then I don’t know what is.
Excellent observations. I tackled this book in January and February with Audible and Kindle. It was the first Russian novel that I have finished reading. It was long yet full of wisdom and reality. Sometimes I still find myself contemplating an event or conversation that took place in the book.
I love this! So happy to know you read it, too. The audio version probably would’ve been a great help to me. So much wisdom to absorb with sight alone!
Some big thoughts locked in those quotes.
Very existential. ❤️