The Girl with the Lightsaber

The day that my children’s pastor used a Star Wars-themed slideshow to prove a point that I don’t remember, my parents could not get me out of church fast enough.

“It was so creepy!” I told them. “There was this weird, green… thing. I never want to watch those movies.”

My dad just laughed and said, “We’re watching the first one tonight.”

Sure enough, that evening, my mad mad mad self was sitting in front of A New Hope, rolling my eyes and trying to predict when the green thing was going to show up so I could run, screaming, out of the room.

For a tremendously long list of reasons, that didn’t happen. The eye-rolling stopped pretty quickly, too.

Thoughts by seven-year-old Aquinnah:

• Wow, Darth Vader is scary.
• How did Princess Leia do that to her hair?
• Is R2-D2 real, and can I have one?
• Sure, I’ll marry Luke Skywalker.
• … Wow, he whines a lot. Grow up.
• Han Solo is sort of mean.
• YOU IDIOTS, GET AWAY FROM THE DEATH STAR!!
• Obi-Wan seemed important, but now he’s dead, so…?
• Oh, look, he’s a ghost. Logic.
• When I grow up, I want to be Leia.
• Where’s the little green guy anyway?

Etc.

The following weekend, we watched episode V, and a few weeks later, on the portable DVD player that was strapped to the headrest of my mom’s car seat, I watched episode VI.

• Darth Vader is WHO?!
• Leia is WHAT?! Gross, gross, grooooss.
• Oh, look– the little green guy.
• If this is how being an astronaut is, I want to be one.
• Are lightsabers real?
• Why doesn’t Leia have a lightsaber?
• Can I have one?
• Omg, I want an Ewok.

I was obsessed.

Then, my parents bought me a purple, plastic lightsaber, and I finally reached the point of no return. Far from enjoying the movies as an innocent bystander, I was now a part of the Star Wars world. Bring on the Jedi training course because I was ready.

My neighbors got used to seeing me and my brothers running around the yard, screaming, “It’s a trap!” and throwing leaves like explosives.

And even though I like to pretend that Anikan’s sand rant doesn’t exist, I loved episodes I, II and III, too.

• Oh, so that’s why Luke is such a baby.

The Force Awakens was like a dream come true, simply because I got to see it in the theater, sitting next to my dad, who loved this series even before I was born. Not to mention Rogue One, during which you probably heard me laugh-crying while my heart exploded in absolute adoration.

I could see my purple lightsaber slashing through tree branches (Stormtroopers) like that was just ten minutes ago and not ten years.

This post comes to you today in view of the fact that I’m still waiting to see The Last Jedi, and I. am. so. ready.