On Growing When You’re Grown

I have been thinking a lot this month about growth, evolution, and transformation.

Something about celebrating a birthday will do that to you.

Where are you? What have you accomplished? Is this what you expected?

To evolve in the midst of uncertainty is an interesting thing. You begin to outgrow your worries and outpace your fears. You lack motivation because all your milestones suddenly seem attainable, and there is no longer any need to rush. Life slows down to the point of being monotonous, but you hesitate to try anything new. All your energy is flooding into something big, something you try and fail to name.

A transformation.

But why does it look like this? It should look different. A tropical paradise with all your favorite people. A permanent vacation. A sign that says, “YOU MADE IT.”

Instead, you wake up in your own bed, make your own breakfast, work for eight hours, and go back to sleep. On the outside, nothing has changed.

This is confirmed when you still have to do things like show up for your dental cleanings and make yourself presentable for Zoom meetings. Who says something has to give? The transformation is happening, and no one knows but you.

So, everything looks the same, but when you scroll back the calendar just a few months, everything is totally different. You are totally different. All the miracles you’ve been expecting are hurtling toward you, and it does not matter if no one else can see them. You can feel them. You know they bear your name.

This is the story I attempted to convey in my last post. A tale of “Where I Am Right Now.”

It can be scary to meet with all you have ever asked for, but part of transforming is growing in courage. So, I will keep walking anyway.

Life is not without struggle or stress, but its foundation is love and joy. Growing can be uncomfortable, but its promises are everything. Everything we have ever wanted is on the other side of the doubt that whispers, “What if I came all this way for nothing?”

Keep going. At that very moment when nothing is clear, keep moving forward.

You are almost there now.

Photo by Ryan Hafey on Unsplash